On today’s show, I will teach you 8 magnetic ways to attract people and get them to really, really like you. I am recording today’s show in Las Vegas, Nevada. My conference was here this past weekend. So I arrived a few days early since there was a lot of preparation. I am also running the Rock N’ Roll Half Marathon on the Vegas strip later this afternoon. I haven’t been training very seriously for this race primarily due to my schedule but I think I will get through the 13.1 miles pretty easily. After that I will have a few days free. I really believe in relaxing after a hard week’s worth of work.
I am pumped up today to give you some great information. I did a similar broadcast on Periscope a few days ago and it got a lot of attention so I expanded it a bit. I originally gave 5 tips but I am giving 8 today. I think it’s going to be really good. It will help you and help your life!
These are not brand new suggestions. I did not invent these but I have been using a lot of these principles for many years and they have worked for me. So I wanted to share them with you…
When you are in a situation where you are with another human being, the best thing to do is to smile. You can never go wrong doing this (at least I don’t think so). Regardless of whether you want to attract that person into your life or not. Sometimes it seems as if we as humans have almost lost our human characteristics. So when you come across someone else 🙂 at them. It will go such as long way it’s unbelievable. When you smile at people, it may sound cliche, but your life really changes. If you get nothing else out of the show today, just try smiling at people. It’s going to make a big difference in your life. I promise.
Again, when you are in a situation where you encounter someone, say hello. Wherever you are, just smile and say hello. When you do that, I think good things will come into your life.
Make Eye Contact
Make eye contact with the person you are talking to. It makes a world of difference. Body language is so important. When you are having a conversation with somebody, and you are not making eye contact with them, but have the same conversation with the same person and are making eye contact with them, it will be night and day. Totally different.
Pay a compliment to someone or ask them a question. It’s not all about you, but about the other person. If they have a nice smile, or you like their shirt, or dress, or what they’re wearing, pay them a compliment. If you don’t want to necessarily pay them a compliment, you can also ask them about themselves. When the conversation is not just about you, the entire situation changes. It’s a different game. This goes for whether you are trying to find a boyfriend, girlfriend, going on a job interview, if you are at a meeting, a potluck dinner, whatever you may be doing. These skills work in any situation.
This is a skill that is not very easy and it does not come naturally. Listen to someone and let them talk. Don’t be so quick to speak. Not only should you let them say what they need to say but also listen carefully. If all you are doing is thinking about what you are going to say next then you will not be in a fully engaged conversation. That’s not good. Be interested, smile, and make eye contact when someone is talking. Don’t worry about what to say next, let them finish. Don’t worry! What you say next will come to you. Have a natural flowing conversation and don’t cut someone off. Again, it’s not an easy skill and it’s something that most of us have to work on.
I think I have been very good at this and the public speaking and podcasting definitely helps. Speak slowly and in language that everyone can understand. I am a doctor and can speak in very technical scientific words if I wanted to but very few would understand what I am saying. And that’s just not how to engage in good conversation. I have always heard that when you write or speak it should be at a sixth to seventh grade level so just about anybody can understand what you are saying. For example, like how I am speaking to you. I am not speaking on a really high level but it doesn’t sound like I am speaking to a first grader but it’s somewhere in the middle there. And not only that but I am speaking slowly. I have gotten good at this because as many of you know my wife Yoko is Japanese. English is not her first language so I have been accustomed to speaking slowly and using words everyone can understand. If you are speaking to someone whose first language is not English, be very careful about using colloquialisms and sayings that only people who grew up English would understand. The better you are at engaging, communicating, your body language, these skills will get you a lot of places in life.
We all think we do this but we don’t. Just be nice. Don’t be a jerk to people. Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. Otherwise known as the “Golden Rule”. When you treat others the way you want to be treated and when you do this incredible things will happen. It’s incredible the way you will be treated, it’s incredible the way relationships will blossom, you’ll have new friends, people will like you and be attracted to you. Did I make that up? Is that deep? No it’s not! But it works. I am not trying to invent all these new crazy things that no one has ever heard of. Just be nice! It’s not difficult. If you think you might say something that isn’t very nice, just take a deep breath, re-evaluate, and ask yourself “do I really need to say that?” And often time the answer is no.
There was a long time in my life that I did not love myself. Once I figured out how to love myself, my entire life changed. That doesn’t mean that I want you to be a narcissist and the only thing you care about is yourself. I am talking about being happy, content and confident with who you are. And not worrying about what other people think of you. Not being so concerned with how you look and what you are wearing. Or how much money you make and how you present yourself. Be very comfortable with who you are. When you are able to truly do that, again everything will change.
When you incorporate these 8 principles into your life, it will change your life as far as the way you meet people, the way you attract people, the way other people see you, and look at you, and like you as well. I would recommend writing the principles down and reading them regularly. Never forget any of them. If you are someone that is practicing the principles every single day, that is great! I will tell you, you are better off than most people. I meet a lot of people every single day with my work. Most people are not doing all 8. I can tell you that.
If you want to get really good at communicating and learning how to speak, try doing a podcast, or public speaking, or even some Periscope broadcast. I started my podcast over two years ago and when I look back to see how I spoke then versus how I speak now, it really helps you. Practice and watch them. Evaluate how you speak and try to get better.
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