122 – How To Ask, How To Say No, How To Rewind
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This is the show where I help you live stronger, thinner, healthier, and happier! I am talking a little quietly today because I am in another airport lounge. It seems like I am doing most of my podcasts lately in airport lounges due to my travel schedule.
Be sure to follow my LIVE daily broadcasts on Periscope at www.periscope.tv/davidmadow.
I love recording these podcasts for you. With each one that I do, I help at least one person. And I am sure its many more than one 🙂 If I am helping you, then it has certainly made my day.
I notice things in my life that happen and I want to pass them on to you because I think they can help you quite a bit. Today, I want to talk to you about not being afraid to ask for certain favors, not being afraid to say “no”, and how to “be kind, rewind”.
Also, just in case you don’t know this, the transcript for every episode is up on my website at www.davidmadow.com. So if you want to refer back to anything, can’t listen to the whole podcast, or for links and other information, each and every episode is there.
Don’t be afraid to ask!
The first topic is do not be afraid to ask. As an example, here is what I did the other day. This works almost every single time.
“I was traveling and was in an Indian restaurant for dinner. It’s not very common that an Indian restaurant has a buffet for dinner. Usually they have them for lunch, but this particular restaurant had them for dinner. It was beautiful. It was a large buffet and they had all kinds of options. I wasn’t really clear on what would be vegan because a lot of times you have to ask in a restaurant because there could be dairy in the dishes. Even if they’re veggie dishes, you just don’t know for sure. I asked the waitress but she wasn’t positive so she got the owner. The owner was going to give a little walk through and tell me what I can eat and what I can’t eat on the buffet. A couple minutes later, this wonderful woman walks over, who was apparently the owner of the restaurant. She took me over to the buffet. She asked me what I can eat and what I can’t eat. At first, I was a little vague. I said I want a vegetarian dish with no dairy. I probably should have just said vegan. So she said, ok let me make sure what you can eat and what you can’t eat. So I said, ok look let me make this very easy. I am vegan so I can’t eat anything from an animal. She said, oh ok, you’re vegan. Let me show you. She was so kind and went through every dish. She showed me what I could have and what I couldn’t have. It was incredible. I really appreciated her taking that time to show me. And not only that, once I sat back down at my table, she said I am going to make you a few extra dishes right from the kitchen that will be vegan for you that are not on the buffet. I just couldn’t thank her enough. And sure enough five or ten minutes later, this wonderful asad dish comes out which is made with spinach. And she brought out a dish with lentils. It was beautiful. My point here is that I feel that people really want to help so don’t be afraid to ask. People want to help especially if they are a business owner. They want to go out of their way to help you.”
“Another example is a short time ago I found myself in a business meeting. It was at a fancy resort club. I had no control over where we were going and there was no vegan menu. I mentioned something to the waiter that I was vegan and sure enough less than five minutes later, the chef comes over to my table and says, I am going to make something special that is not on the menu. A short time later the chef comes out to deliver my dish personally to me. And it was just this beautifully arranged dish of veggies. It looked awesome. He brought it out personally and not only that he checked back with me two or three times to see if everything was good or to find out if I needed anything else.”
People love to help and especially when you tell them you’re vegan or you don’t eat certain things. People do want to go out of their way to help you have a great dining experience at their restaurant. The more people that do this, more restaurants will put vegan options on the menu. So, if you are vegan, please make it a point to talk to the chef, the owner, or the server. They want to help you. The more we ask the more chance we have in the future of getting a lot of vegan options on menus. If you are not vegan, I welcome you as a listener and friend. I do not look down on anybody no matter what you eat or what your beliefs are. I try to lead by example. And if you want to do what I do and live this great life, I’d love to have you join me. It you’re not ready yet, it’s ok. I’ll just share a lot of things with you and hopefully I will be able to improve your life in some way!
Don’t be afraid to say no!
Let me share something that happened just the other day. I was traveling from Winnipeg, Canada. If you listened to my last episode, you know that I have been really jet lagged, and burned out, and tired. And I still have a knee injury still on my left leg. So I got this invitation from my mom to come over for brunch the next day. Which was the day after I got home. Ordinarily, I would never turn down an invitation especially since my Dad has just got out of the hospital and is home now. It was almost like a homecoming celebration. But with everything I have going on, being tired and burned out, and not feeling well, I just had to say no. When I said that, they understood. My point is, in the old days I probably would have said yes to everything. Sometimes it’s difficult for people to say no. But these days I have no problem at all. I am keeping my own schedule and doing exactly what I want to do. I don’t want to do that to the detriment of other people or my family but if it just isn’t right, then it’s not right. And there’s nothing wrong with saying no.
How about in your life? I am willing to bet that it’s sometimes difficult for you to say no. Let’s say somebody wants to have a meeting with you, or they want to get on the phone, or they want to invite you to a party or get together. Sometimes we get sucked into things that we really don’t want to do. And we regret it later. It’s actually so much easier at first just to say, “I’m sorry I can’t make it.” You don’t have to make an excuse, or make something up. You don’t have to lie. Simply say the word no. Start practicing right now. Practice saying the word no. I am going to ask you a question so that you can practice.
Me: “Would you like to donate five dollars to my cause?”
You: Out loud right now, I want you to say, “Dave, I’m really sorry, I can’t.”
How did you do? Did you say no? Did it feel good to say no? You don’t have to say yes to everybody. Sometimes you just have to look at someone and say I’m sorry, I can’t or just simply no. The word yes is very easy to say but sometime we get into a situation where we really regret it. And then in the future when the time comes, we start trying to get out of it or making up an excuse or lie. Nobody wants to do that. So I want you to practice. That is your homework between now and next episode. I want you to say no to as many people and situations as possible that you truly don’t want to do. If there’s something that you want to do, then say yes, that’s fine. But if you’re not comfortable with something or you’re not sure, just say no. It’s a powerful thing. I promise you!
One more thing I want to talk to you about before I leave you today. When we used to rent movies in the “old” days, they were tapes not DVD. They all had a sticker when you rented them that when you brought them back they were supposed to be rewound. The sticker said “be kind, rewind.” I have been thinking about this expression lately. In this airport lounge right now there are probably ten to fifteen people. And I’ve gotta tell you something. The reason I am speaking kind of softly and away from everyone is because everybody here is so considerate. No one is making any noise. A month or so ago I was at a place and there was a mother, father, and two little kids. I can’t remember exactly where but it was a place where people are usually pretty quiet. These kids were running around, making noise, screaming, throwing things, and taking things. First of all, I want to be very clear. I love kids. I have two kids. My kids are older now, they are in their thirties. But sometimes parents have to be sure they are controlling their kids. The parents were not even trying to control them, they just didn’t care. And unfortunately it was a bad experience for everyone else who was trying to be relaxed, do work, and maybe even make business calls and things like that. So I like to go to places that are peaceful and quiet. To me, it is so much healthier than going to places that are loud and rowdy and noisy. That’s my personal preference. I try my best wherever I go to be super considerate. I try to treat people the way that I would want to be treated. So getting back to the sticker, I think it’s a reminder to us to always be kind to others. Let’s treat others with kindness. Let’s help others. If someone pisses you off. Let it go. Meditation goes a long way. When you meditate, it seems like you don’t get angry at anybody. Let’s change the world. Let’s just treat others the way we want to be treated no matter what the type of situation. Help somebody out. Teach somebody something. Because it kind of goes full circle. When you are good to people, they will be really nice back to you.
One more thing…I want to mention my Periscope broadcasts. For a while, I was doing them daily every morning but because of my travel it has gotten a little bit more erratic. I am trying to jump on there as often as I can. I just did my 201st broadcast. If you are not on Periscope, I am going to urge you to join. It’s a free app. I believe it’s the wave of the future. Download it and follow me @davidmadow. I hope you’ll join me if you haven’t yet. Let’s hang out together and have some fun! I love helping others. That is one of the most fulfilling things in my life right now.
Thanks so much for being with me today! Until next time…
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