175 – Four Agreements
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Hey there! How ya doing? It’s Dr. D the “V” back with you! Welcome to The David Madow Lifestyle Show. It’s the show where I help you live stronger, thinner, healthier, and happier. I’ve got a lot of great stuff coming at you today.
I’ve got a great show for you today. You can bookmark it and always come back to this one. Because I have been doing this show for about 3 years now as you know but this is going to be one of the most important shows I am doing for you. I’m serious about it! Bookmark it! Share it with your friends. Listen to it. And listen to it again, because it is going to help your life immensely.
Before I get into this subject, I have a couple of things for you real quick. I am still in Colorado. And it’s a beautiful cloudy snowy fairly warm day today in town. I am not skiing today, I am just cruising around doing my thing. I am really happy to say that the lifestyle here has worked really well for me. I’ve shed about 12 pounds in just about 3 weeks. I am concerned about going back East now because I have got to keep the lifestyle up. This is the way to live people! This is the way to do it! Love your body and eat healthy. These are important.
Speaking of moving your body and being outdoors, I want to share something with you. A good friend of mine, Steve Moore, down in Oklahoma City has started a Facebook group. I want you to check this out. It’s a small group right now.
I’ve talked about him a little bit before on the show. He is a retired truck driver who’s lived in the Oklahoma and Texas area I believe almost his whole life. Through listening to my shows and meeting me on Periscope video broadcasts, Steve told me his life changed. He told me that I was the one who was very influential. I am not going to take all the credit but Steve told me when we met up on Hippie Road Trip #1 that I changed his life. Steve grew up in an area that was pretty much a meat-eating area. Let’s face it, in Oklahoma and Texas, most people eat meat. And Steve, through listening to my words. Steve is in his late 50’s and now has totally changed his life. Steve I am proud of you and I want to share your group. The Facebook group is called Outdoor Tripin.
Steve now realizes that life is all about getting outdoors. If you’re going to run or do something, do it outside. Reconnect with the Earth. Steve put up a daily (almost) inspirational quote. I want you to check it out. It’s free! Steve doesn’t charge anything for his motivation and advice. I am honored to be the one (or one of the ones) that has mentored Steve in his new lifestyle.
So, I did a Facebook Live stream a few weeks ago on today’s topic so if you saw the video thanks for joining me there. I want you to listen very closely. A short time ago, maybe about a year ago, I made 4 agreements with myself and no one else. I did not come up with these 4 agreements. I did not invent them. I read the book The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. In this book, he very succinctly explains that if you abide by these 4 agreements and do the best you can, it’s going to come back to you. If you do the best you can with them, your life will change for the better. I’m doing this! I am going to share some experiences with you as I describe to you these 4 agreements.
I do recommend you read the book if you can. The book expands on what I am going to make a 10 minute version of. It’s not a thick book but it’s a regular book. So I am going to try my best to condense Don’s words into 10 minutes or so.
Admittedly, when I read this about 2 years ago, I read it on audiobook. So as I was out there every day doing my “Magic 4” I was listening to the book as an audiobook on my iPhone. If you don’t have the time to sit down and read page after page, it helps to listen to it on audiobook. Let’s get into this! I really want you to try your best to incorporate these into your life.
Agreement #1: Be impeccable with your word
What does that mean? In the old days there was a saying that went “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” You know something? That’s really not true. Words can really hurt people. When Don Miguel Ruiz says to be impeccable with your word, it means that before you say something just think. Think about what you’re saying. Is it true? Can it possibly hurt somebody? Is it gossip? Is it ill-intended?
Since I’ve read this book, I’ve tried so hard to not say bad things about anybody. I’m full of love and I try my best but let’s face it there are some people who are just whack jobs out there. [Dave laughs] Let’s face the facts. But I am really sticking to the 4 agreements and I try not to say anything bad.
I’ll give you an example. About 1-2 weeks ago somebody got ahold of me on Facebook. And he was trying to bring up somebody’s name and trying to trash the person. And I said to my friend, “hey I am not going there. I choose not to say anything bad about this person.” Then I said, “have you read the 4 agreements?” He hadn’t so I told him that I highly recommend it.
Let’s just be really careful. Those of us that gossip and say bad things, what good does it do? Trust me I have done it both ways. Of course we are all grown ups and if there’s somebody you don’t like you may say something bad. I don’t do that anymore. And I haven’t done it in some time. It really really does make a tremendous difference.
Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say what you mean.
“Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”
– Don Miguel Ruiz
Agreement #2: Don’t take anything personally
I was a big violator of this agreement for a long time. There are a million examples of things that happen in life. I always used to take things personally. What did I do wrong? Why did they do that to me? But you know something? You never know the circumstances. You might think you know. But you don’t know the circumstances and it doesn’t do any good to take something personally. So just forget about it. Don’t worry!
Don’t take it personally! Nothing others do is because of you. Chances are that someone is not even thinking of you. It’s not all about you. What others say and do is a projection of their reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. Don’t take anything personally. Let it just fly away.
Agreement #3: Don’t make assumptions
Here’s another one that I know I have been super guilty of this. Super guilty! You always assume, oh this person didn’t do x because of… and that’s the reason. I’ve found that 90% of the time, I was wrong in my assumptions. It’s not good to make assumptions. It’s unhealthy to make assumptions. Trust me. Since I listened to the audio book I stopped making assumptions. I’m telling you it really is true.
Try this. If you’re assuming things, go back and take a look at the things you have assumed. Over the past few months or year the assumptions that you made were wrong.
I had somebody recently assume something about me. And she stopped talking to me. I noticed on Facebook and through other little hints that she just was pissed at me. And I am thinking to myself , “wow it’s a friend. What did I do?” So I got ahold of her and we started talking it out and she made these assumptions that were totally wrong. And I recommended the book to her, so I said “hey have you read the book The 4 Agreements?” And she said “I have not heard of it.” And I said, “I’ve learned over the years that when you assume and when I assume, it’s almost always wrong. Don’t assume.” It’s not good. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings. With just this one agreement you can completely transform your life. It’s true. It really is!
What’s the last agreement? Well that’s funny. I started the show off with this. When I first started talking about the 4 agreements, I said this is a little hint.
Agreement #4: Always do your best
No matter how good you are at something or if you’re really healthy whatever. All you can be asked to do is to do your best. Nobody’s perfect. I am far from perfect. We all try things. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we just give up. A lot of times we give up way too quickly.
Over the years I’ve found that I thought I had a good idea, I started something and if it didn’t hit right away, I just gave up. Which is the stupidest thing ever by the way because sometimes success takes a long time. It does not happen overnight. You look at these overnight sensations on the internet and people that put out videos and they go viral and have millions and millions of views. But that is such a small tiny fraction of the minority. Most people, like me included, have to work hard at what they do and nothing is ever an overnight success.
For example, I have been doing The David Madow Lifestyle Show for 3 years now. And it’s not an overnight success. I’ve got a lot of great listeners and subscribers like you. And by the way if you find this helpful, share it with someone else. I’ve grown quite a bit but I really want to grow it more. I want to change the entire world even if it’s one person at a time. Even if it’s one person in the world. As I told you before, I don’t get paid for this podcast. All of my equipment I pay for, my time thinking about an episode and what I am going to talk about. It’s all time and money and I don’t get paid.
The way I do get paid is not really in cash. The way I get paid is when somebody like Steve Moore comes up to me and says “hey Dave you’ve changed my life!” That’s all I need people. That’s what I like to hear and I want to change lives. So the more people we can share this with, I appreciate it. I want the word to get out to more people.
But anyway this last agreement is just to do your best. Nobody is asking you to be perfect. You’re not going to be perfect. You’re not going to be the best in the world at something. Or probably not. But just do your best! Do the best you can. Your best is going to change from moment to moment. It will be different when you’re healthy as opposed to when you’re sick. Under any circumstance simply do your best and you will avoid self judgement, self abuse, and regret.
How do you like that? The 4 agreements that are so powerful and so life changing. I want you to start with those today. And when I say today I mean today. So think before you say something. Don’t talk about anybody else. Don’t gossip. Don’t say anything bad. Being impeccable with you word means that your words are really powerful and they will affect others. So speak the truth my friend.
The other 3 agreements I don’t need to repeat them because you can just rewind. I guess we don’t really rewind these days do we? [Dave laughs] In the old days when we had cassette tapes. Some of you might be too young to remember this but in the old days before we had online streaming videos we had to go to the video store if we wanted to watch a movie. So we went and rented one of these large bulky tapes. And when you brought them back to the shop if you didn’t rewind, many shops would charge a $2 rewind fee. There would be a sticker on the VHS that said “be kind, rewind.”
So I want you to be kind and I want you to rewind this and I want you to listen to it. How about if we make this a goal? Let’s do this! I look at the stats to see how many people are listening to each episode. Let’s do this! If you like this episode, which I hope you did, I’d like you to share this with 2 like minded people. 2 people that you’re close with. Maybe a family member. Maybe a spouse or significant other. Maybe a cousin or an associate at work. Someone that you are like minded with and you feel that they could really benefit from learning these 4 agreements. I’d like you to share this. Send them the link. Share with them how to listen to my podcast. I would appreciate it!
And you know what I am going to be doing? I am going to be looking at the statistics. I won’t be able to tell if you actually shared but I do get statistics on how many people download, what countries they’re from. But don’t worry, I don’t get names. But I’ll be able to tell if there is a spike in the downloads. And I’ll be happy because I am seeing that more people are getting it. More people want to live a better life, to help others, to help yourself, to help the planet, to help animals, and just to help everything and everybody. Isn’t that good enough? That’s the way I try to live my life. Is my life perfect? No! Not at all! I go through tough times like any of you. I go through difficult times. Trust me. Trust me I do. But I always know there’s going to be sunlight at the end of that tunnel for sure.
Thanks for being with me. If you’ve been with me for quite some time, thank for being with me today again. If you’re brand new to me, I really appreciate it. I love you! I appreciate you! And guess what? I’ll see you next week. I’m Dr. D the “V”. Have a great one!
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